10/27 - 10/28 pt1
You Take Care of You!
I’m thrilled you’re here, but given its nature and purpose, Borderline Babe contains mentions of mental illness, disordered eating, self-harm, suicidal ideation, strong language, and other adult themes. If you find the material upsetting, please don’t read further. You can always come back another time - I’ll still be here for you!
What is the Borderline Diary?
It’s a scrapbook of life as it happens, my life told through honest and open thoughts, emotions, words, and pictures. Too honest? Too open? I don’t think so. Much as we might talk about ending stigmas - whether around illness, appearance, disability, or anything that makes us insecure - I believe we still hide parts of ourselves in the shadows. I think if we shared more openly, we’d all see ourselves in others, and we’d all feel less alone.
Each diary post includes my real-time, “hot off the presses” diary entries, as well as my reflections on the key emotions and themes in those entries. This mirrors an important element in my recovery: the raw, unfiltered emotions - positive and negative - I experience, coupled with the thoughtful, healthy processing of those emotions. My initial emotions will often sound extreme, but that’s the BPD talking. The Borderline Diaries put those emotions out there, because we can’t understand what we can’t see. The Borderline Diaries are me talking - sorting through my emotions to get to my healthy feelings, my healthy relationships, and my healthy life.
Themes Of The Week
This week I experienced an influx of borderline symptoms. At the beginning of the week, I felt intense rage and blame towards others. I entered my porcupine state and shunned those around me with hostile silence. As the week continued, however, I became very needy, searching desperately for validation from others. I once again experienced a period of hypersexuality, and did an impressive amount of damage on Hinge within a 72-hour period. But this week’s triggering of my sex addiction was very different from a couple of weeks ago… Like I told you, that was a different beast… A complete and animalistic loss of control, possibly indicative of bipolar. This week I know my hypersexuality was driven by the borderline, as it was a controlled loss of control driven by a need for external validation I was not providing myself. I also aimed to use sexual gratification as a method of avoidance, and a way of satisfying intense feelings of loneliness.
Other big news from this week - I went on my first real trip away from home since my borderline diagnosis and recovery. Of course that stirred up all kinds of emotions, good and bad… It also was an extremely sad event for me… Because it reminded me deeply of that someone that I used to know. I struggled to process my sadness and let go. Rather, I fixated on the fantasy of him I had created, and let my obsession carry me down dark, and all too familiar roads.
By the end of the week, I got my emotional processing back up to speed and my borderline symptoms dissipated. It was difficult to come to terms with the painful emotions I was trying to avoid through external validation and sexual attention. However, the discomfort I experienced when facing my negative emotions felt far less painful than trapping myself in my borderline state. Still, as this week came to a close, I continued to battle a need for external gratification (sexual attention from men), promiscuous and manipulative behaviors, and obsessive tendencies. Clinging to the edge, I felt like a moth to a flame, “I just can’t stop destroying my life” …
Intense rage and hostility
Pushing others away and protecting myself in a state of false autonomy
Feeling insecure and embarrassed
Feeling sadness, let down, and disappointed
Grieving the loss of what might have been, grieving the loss of a fantasy
Seeking external validation (especially sexual attention from men)
Struggling with my relationship with my body, food, and exercise
Using maladaptive coping mechanisms instead of engaging in healthy coping mechanisms
Resetting my mindset and behaviors, recommitting to recovery
Lady Liberty Hates Me
Part I
Entry Dates
Monday, October 27, 2025 – Tuesday, October 28, 2025
Monday, October 27, 2025
6:34 am
“Oh fuck,” I think as my feet pound the treadmill… He just walked in, a man I hate. I feel him looking at me, and I feel threatened. His eyes linger on my skin for only a moment this morning… Before he walks away.
God… Why do I hate him so much? … Could it maybe be because he loves me very much… And I just don’t understand how anyone could? …
6:40 am
My feet are still pounding the treadmill. I’ve reached the final 5. I give myself little love taps on my hip, telling myself, “Come on, baby, you’ve almost reached the finish line.” He's behind me. I feel his eyes on me, and I wonder if he's wishing he was my hand…
6:42 am
I don’t even look at him, a man I love. I don’t know if he’s looking at me, and I wish I didn’t care, but I do… I do, I do… And I’ve just gotta laugh, because do I really think the absence of my eyes, breezy “hi,” and smiling goodbye will really ruin his day? … The way it ruins mine?
6:45 am
Saying, “Good morning,” feels like suicide today.
7:44 am
I am enveloped in a pillowy blanket of color - The most beautiful cotton candy sky I've ever seen. It makes me think of him… It makes me think of us; my A team. It makes me think of us; his Plan B.
“... Nowadays we don't talk a lot
Ya I know we don't talk a lot
Still remember that heart to heart
Where I spilled it all in that parking lot
Right outside of that liquor store
You pulled the plug and I hit the floor
Even now I don't hate you for it
Hope you know I don't hate you for it, yeah
…
And I know your whole team and that makes you jealous
You play like I'm the one that can't keep it cool
Act like it's all fine but I'm storytelling
But for the record
…
I miss you a little all of the time
I say that I hate you but you're still on my mind
Every time we talk I say that I'm fine
But I miss you a little all the time…”
…
(Miss You A Little, by Byrce Vine)
7:46 am
“... Body on my, losin’ all my innocence, yeah
Body on my, grindin’ on my innocence, yeah…”
…
(Body, by Loud Luxury, featuring Brando)
I'm driving, yeah, and I’m speeding, yeah, and I’m flying, yeah… High-fiving ecstasy as I pass her by.
7:54 am
“... I can't fix each and all your problems, I'm no good with names and faces
She sent me naked pictures from her neck down to the waist…”
…
(3 Nights, by Dominic Fike)
…
I flashback… To a time not that far away… I flashback… Only to yesterday…
“I’m thinking he might have been a fuckboy…”
“Yeah, a lot of things are pointing to that now…”
“... But I don’t know… A lot of things aren’t…”
“I mean I don’t know, I’m just so confused…”
All I know is he stopped responding.
…
“... I get my feelings involved, she stopped returning my calls
Her flaws turned into walls and barricades
And I'm too far gone in all the wrong ways
And now every long day is a bad one
I can't make you call or make you stay
Or take you off the pedestal…”
…
(3 Nights, by Dominic Fike)
…
And now I feel such intense sadness… That sucker punch to the gut type of saddness… Thinking about him alone in some motel… Not even thinking of me… Or with some other girl in some motel… Not even thinking of me…
I don’t know which is worse… Being his forgotten A team… Or his Plan B…
8:46 pm
I don’t know what to say. I don’t have much time. I need to go to bed. And pack… Tomorrow. I forgot to tell you, I have a work trip this week. Quick. I’ll tell you more later. I don’t know. Today was long. Again, again, “I don’t know how much longer I can do this” … Said to my guardian angel, then said to Mom…
And just now the borderline. It’s got me. I’m at risk. At risk of breaking. I know it’s the borderline and not the other beast because it feels more controlled… And yet I am on the edge of losing control… The borderline is a controlled loss of control… The other beast is no control. This is borderline. Standing in front of Dad, he was helping me. Head in my hands, clawing at my skull. Itchy brain. Itchy. Itchy. Tears. Help.
“What’s wrong honey? What’s wrong?” Dad asks…
Mom is here too…
They’ve felt it coming…
My storm
They know
They wage my daily war
“I don’t know!”
I cry out
Still itching for my brain
But there is no brain to be found…
“I feel like I’m going to have an episode!”
“I just want to go outside and scream and punch something!”
Help
Help
Dad asks if I can just walk the driveway in the cold air
If that will help
I’ve told you before…
I am the room on fire.
…
And now I am here, writing you… I left Mom and Dad telling me, “If there’s anything we can do…” I left because I had to print something for my trip… Mom said it’s one step at a time… I don’t know what I’m saying. All I know is this can’t go on. I’m slowly killing myself. Help. Help. No one understands me.
8:57 pm
Mom and Dad are ignoring me. I want to scream and cry and throw a fit. I feel violent. No one is fucking helping me. Everyone is just letting me kill myself slowly. Assisted suicide. Fuck you. Fuck them. Fuck everything and everyone. And most of all fuck me; the dumb bitch he can't even be bothered to answer… Even though I sent him my priceless hangings for free… Begging him to repaint me in his image… Saying, “Please baby, please… Paint me like a Monet…” Yeah, yeah, I sent him naked pictures from my neck down past my waist… Oh when will I learn? - That is never enough… Never enough to make them stay.
9:00 pm
Do you know what I just realized?? And God damn now I'm feeling kind of happy and giggling and high!!! … What was I saying??? Oh yeah, what I just realized! High, high! - I realized that I get off on this shit! Yeah, I get off on this insanity… I get off riding the constant and tumultuous cycle of highs and lows… I get off watching me kill myself slowly…
Damn.
What does that say about me?
9:02 pm
Maybe it's not such a bad thing that I have to get up early tomorrow… My new schedule… More sleep… Out the window tomorrow… 4:30 am that's fine, that's fine. I thrive on dying! And that's what I'm doing! - Right? Right?!?!
9:04 pm
I'm having an episode. I'm having an episode and I have to travel for work tomorrow. This is terrifying. Absolutely terrifying. Oh God make it stop.
9:34 pm
It's 9:34 pm now. I don't know what time it was… Before… Not that long ago… I went back downstairs after coming up… To get a glass of water… A glass of water or pity from Mom and Dad? … I don't know… I don't know…
I know I got a glass of water… I know I drank it… Mom and Dad did not intervene and try to help me out of my invisible pain… So I was angry… Walking towards the stairs… To go back up to my room… And I was thinking something but I have no idea what… It's lost to me… And it was then too… In that moment, I bent down and cried out in pain… And Mom and Dad came running… Just like they always do… I was squatting… A yogi in chair pose… But no peace was there with me… I did chair pose earlier this morning too… Pilates… I was wobbly… I didn't tell you… I gave myself love taps then too… Although in that moment they were filled with hate rather than love… Anyways… I was bent over, head in hands, one cry of pain, an animal… Wounded… My heart… Yet again suffering the blow of him leaving… I sent him naked pictures from my neck down past my waist… But that was not enough… To make him stay… Anyways… That… And the stress of work… Killing me… And this trip… But I don't know what I was thinking… When I screamed and Mom and Dad came running… “Oh child!” And “You're OK, come on now.” Mom and Dad surrounded me. Mom and Dad held me to protect me from myself. Finally I rose, head still in hands… Not itching now, but gently rubbing… The same way Mom was rubbing my back… Gently… And with love… Dad held me still… Not letting go… Then suddenly I was speaking… Barely… So few words… But saying I'm tired, saying I have to get up so early… Then Dad saying, what about 5:30 am instead of 4:30 am… Then me pouting… I don't want to… Then Dad so gentle… Asking me what time then… What time do I want to get up? … Never.
…
Now I don't know where I am, and I don't know if I'm doing better. And I'm afraid I have cancer because I lost a freckle… It’s white and bloody… Like me… I'm afraid of dying, believe it or not… And I'm tired and I can't do this…
I wish I could be with him… I know what will make me feel better… I'll think of him and make love to myself… Oh if only I could send him naked pictures from my neck down past my waist… Maybe then he would give me the love I cannot seem to give myself… Then maybe he would fuck my pain away.
Messages (to Mom):
9:52 pm
Me:
I'm afraid I have cancer because one of my freckles is weird. I don't know… It looks weird and I won't be able to see (the dermatologist) and I don't know what to do I'm really scared I'm going to die and have melanoma.
9:58 pm
Mom:
Hun, it will be fine. You can call for appointment tomorrow.
9:59 pm
Me:
I need to see her as soon as I get back from my trip… Bad… Skin cancer.
9:59 pm
Mom:
Please try to rest.
9:59 pm
Me:
I'm scared I'm going to die
9:59 pm
Mom:
You will be ok. Promise. 💕
10:27 pm
I thought of him. I touched myself. Now tears rush down my cheeks. I think I need to hurt myself tomorrow. I think I need to cut. I'm extremely suicidal. I think I need to euthanize myself. I can't do this.
… I wonder if he's thinking about me right now… But who is he?
Tuesday, October 28, 2025
5:47 am
I'm trying to think, I'm trying to remember. Last night… But I am afraid of the carnage I might find. What did I do? Oh God what did I do??
…
Did I have sex? I don't remember. Did I hurt someone? I don't remember. Did I hurt myself? I don't remember. Oh what did I do? Oh God what did I do??
Oh God… I don't want to remember.
6:10 am
I think I'm okay. I'm starting to remember now… Barely though… I still have almost no memory of my actions…
As exhausted as I was… After fighting myself last night… Sleep did not claim me… Not fully… All night I was trapped in that horrible space between sleep and wake… Held hostage by a single thought like a gun to my head - This episode has been my first since going on medication… I remember something I thought last night as I fell asleep… Another episode... Proof that medication is not a total cure… This episode was driven by the borderline… I know that for certain. A controlled loss of control… Brutal… But not like that other beast that lurks in the shadows of my mind… That other beast that has been contained by the medication… For now… I’m so afraid it will break through its chains… I’m so afraid of it getting loose and consuming me… I’m so afraid… I’m so afraid of myself…
6:28 am
Where is he? He's always here by now on Tuesdays… But who is he?
6:30 am
I swear to God if anyone even looks at me right now I'm gonna lose it…
I don't feel fit to be in the presence of other human beings. I feel like an animal after a fight. Bloody and bruised… Yeah, now I’m seeing red, purple, and green… Yeah, now I’m seeing yellow and blue… A rainbow of colors, just like a waging war… But these morning marks make me wonder, who am I fighting for?
7:13 am
I let my feet pound the ground with the same intensity as the pounding in my mind - Lunge switch jumps. This workout has been kicking my ass. A lot of balance moves, and I'm all wobbly. What is with me lately?? I'm alone, so I almost let the tears flow. I bite my lip and my body trembles, waiting for the self-inflicted blow it knows is coming. Poor baby… I cannot shelter from myself…
I fold down into a little crouched ball on the ground, shaking it off and restarting my timer for the entire workout set. No one likes sloppy seconds, I'm doing this from the top, and I'm doing it right. I'm done being someone’s Plan B, I wanna be on the A Team. I stand up and get in position, slapping my hip ferociously with hate in my heart.
…
God I'm in so much pain… I just keep telling myself this too shall pass, this too shall pass… But what if I die before it does? … What if I die before it does? … At my own hand…
…
I should probably call my therapist…
Am I going to though?
Fuck no.
10:51 am
Hey. I just wanted to check in with you and let you know I'm okay, and I mean that, I really do. I'm not going to lie, last night was rough… That episode really knocked the wind out of me… The same way he knocked the wind out of me when he left… I think that's part of what's been going on with my emotional state…
My borderline symptoms have definitely been triggered. And yes, his recent shady coming and even shadier going of course contributed to that... But there are a lot of other contributing factors. As you know, I've been living in a constant state of stress… I'm doing so many different things, and I haven't had time to just rest. And yes, I've been adjusting my schedule and making more time for rest, but it's still a constant battle - Finding time to rest…
And then there was whatever happened last weekend… That episode felt different than this one… Different from the borderline… That episode felt like the other beast… And that scares me terribly…
So yeah… Last night was rough… Earlier this morning was too. I felt like I needed help. I wanted to run home and cry and scream and beg for Mom and Dad to fix everything for me… But then I started fixing things for myself. Just like Mom said last night, I took care of things one at a time… And before I knew it, I had taken care of everything that immediately needed my attention in order to be ready for the day… And in doing that I took care of myself…
…
Now I'm sorry baby, and we'll talk more later… But I have to go… I'm rushing out to catch a train… Or rather I'm rushing out to meet someone who's going to help me catch a train… This trip I'm going on… I'm not going alone… Not anymore… I can't. I'm not in a good place… So I will be traveling with someone who loves me very much and will keep me safe. It's okay to ask for help. I'm doing the best I can and that's all I can do and I'm proud of myself. We'll talk more later. I have to go now baby, really I do… But don't worry, I do love you so and I'll be in touch… Yeah, I'm going now, but unlike him, I promise I'll come back to you…
Oh and baby? One last thing - This trip I'm going on… I'm going home to him… But I'm not going to see him…
3:16 pm
“Why go to Paris for the summer? America is better
Apparently there's gold in the street
I don't care who's over there, if I see you and you're starin'
And your team will catch a fist through the teeth
…
Yeah, it's all wrong
You're tellin' me it's so wrong
To play ball in somebody else's yard
I found God outside of a gun range
She looked me in the eye and she asked me for change
And if I…”
…
(American Dream, by Bryce Vine)
…
Hey baby, how are you? - I just wanted to drop a line because I'm on the train now… I'm coming into your city now; I'm entering your home… But isn't it just crazy now baby, that I've never felt more alone?...
Lady Liberty looks on you and smiles, Lady Liberty looks on me with tired eyes. You take your Queen out to dine, while I take mine to bed…
Baby I miss you… Baby I need you… Baby I don't understand why you left… Why you left the first time… And why you just answered my call, only to leave me again…
“We have all summer,” you said on that first and holy day in your bed… But before “all summer” came to an end, we had already… Yeah, before “all summer” came to an end, we were already dead…
Dead… Dead in your bed… Tangled and twisted… Like rough waters on the Sea of Galilee… And now I look to my left and I see the deep blue Hudson wave at me… Calm waters… A rarity… I wish I could become Jesus, and walk across them to meet you… Meet you where you lay… Alone… Alone? - These days I am not so sure…
Is that why you only ever message me after hours? Is that why you're always in the shower? Or do you work all day? Do you work late? Do you work 14 hours? … Just like you say…
I don't know, I don't know, I'm just so confused… I don't know, I don't know, I just want you… The trees are ablaze, dazzling me in their autumn splendor… Scarlet red and falling… Just like me in the wake of your leaving… God baby, will I ever stop grieving?
… Do you know I brought my rosary with me? The one that belonged to my grandfather… With emerald green beads that made you smile… Yeah mine was green and yours was blue… Something borrowed, something blue… Something like me, something like you…
I brought my rosary, but I left my gold virgin at home. My gold virgin that was physically gifted to me by my grandfather only weeks before he died. He had it made for me, just like one my grandmother always wore… Because I reminded him of her… I had her beauty… I had her charm… Oh and I shudder to think how his opinion of me might change, if only he had known, all the places my gold virgin would go… But I like to think he would laugh it off, and dry my eyes as I cried to him, saying “passion comes at a cost” …
So you see baby, I left my gold virgin at home because I can never lose it. It was a custom gift, irreplaceable… Irreplaceable because my grandfather was the one who placed it in my hands, and told me why…
Now the rosary is different… I inherited it in the emptiness of his passing. I picked it up myself. Alone. Filled with sadness. Sadness until it was made happy by you… With emerald green beads that made you smile… Yeah mine was green and yours was blue… Something borrowed, something blue… Something like me, something like you…
… I did not bring my gold virgin. It protects me. It makes me think of my grandfather. I cannot lose it.
… I did bring my rosary. It protects me too… But it makes me think of you… So it would be okay for me to lose it… Because you see baby, I already lost you.
3:47 pm
The train is moving and the door opens, a woman is changing cars. For a brief instant, I wonder to myself when the last suicide was… Then I feel gladness in realizing I didn't think the morbid thought sooner… No, all this time, even in my sorry state - and despite the ever present deathly whispers - I have not been thinking about death on this trip, no, no, I have been thinking about life.
…
And the reason the thought of suicide even crossed my mind just now? - Because I saw and heard the door open, and I was worried… Worried for the woman… Worried and waiting to jump up and pull her off the edge… Pull her back into my warm embrace, and kiss her head, saying, “Oh baby, please don't go, I'm not finished with you yet.”
4:04 pm
A tap on the shoulder from the seat behind me, my chaperone, who I do love so… “Look at the castle,” she says.
“Oh!” I reply, suddenly a child, playing pretend princess in my mind. Only this castle is in ruins, alone on an island, it melts into the Hudson. I still think it is beautiful, and I see myself in it… I am certain it is home to all sorts of Godly creatures and beautiful flowers… Rose petals in the snow…
If I had the money, I would buy it. Yes, I would buy it, and restore it… Then I would bring my baby there and lock him in the highest tower until he loved me… And I would never let him go…
Just kidding!
… Or am I? …
That's the thing about me - You can never tell if I mean what I say, or say what I mean… Can you? … I know he couldn't… He said so… He looked right into my eyes and said so… “So pretty,” “So pretty” … That's okay though… He'll always be my baby, yeah I do love him so…
4:44 pm
Like I said before… I'm going home to him… I think that's why I'm having such a hard time with this trip. I feel such heartache… It’s such a bittersweet citrusy blue kinda day. Sweet like him coming, bitter like him going… Yeah my heart is breaking, and raining tears down on my cotton candy skies… All because I'm going home to him… But I'm not going to see him.
…
As we pass the bridge, I recognize it. I see it regularly in a recurring nightmare I have. The same exact bridge, every last detail a perfect match. A bridge over troubled waters. In my nightmare I always drive off the edge…
…
His home and one true love, the summation of my anxiety… An always buzzing concrete jungle where new and vibrant flowers bloom each day. Big doe eyes, and virginal lilac fragrance… Surrounding him… An ever present threat to my siren eyes, and salty vanilla rose aroma…
Maybe that was the problem all along…
I would be clinging to him always -
Afraid and meek.
Possessive and desperate.
Clinging,
Always.
Tangled and twisted,
Like the rosary on his rearview.
Tangled and twisted,
Just like us the night we met.
Tangled and twisted,
Just like us the night we died.
Clinging,
Always.
… The only problem was he didn't want to be clung to.
4:48 pm
“Next stop Penn Station, 20 minutes.”
Oh God, I'm gonna throw up. Oh God, I can't breathe. Oh God, the wind has been knocked right out of me… Just like when he left… And now I’m feeling red, purple, and green… Yeah, I’m feeling yellow and blue… A rainbow of colors, just like a divided sea. Yeah, a rainbow of emotions, when he left me.
Oh and baby now I'm feeling that rainbow of emotions over and over on repeat… A whirlwind of sadness, they devour me… Playing your memory out again and again in my sick head… Til I'm lost, til I'm dizzy, till all I see is you… You and red.
8:15 pm
Dressed in a sweatsuit I am well ashamed of my appearance. Especially when I'm surrounded by girls in mini skirts, thigh high boots, and garters… Some dyed bleach blonde, all trying to be Sabrina Carpenter. Blonde… They say gentlemen prefer blondes… And I know that to be true… In my experience gentlemen certainly prefer to make blondes their holy Mrs… But I’ve also found they have no problem fucking an unlucky brunette…
Now I am lost in a sea of blonde, and intoxicated with designer perfume… I feel disgusting… Hideous really. Thank God my baby isn't here to see me… But I don't mean that… I wish he was… And then you can bet your bottom dollar I'd be wearing sky high heels, a scarlet garter, and a mini skirt so mini, he wouldn't even have to take it off…
But forgive me baby, I didn't come dressed to impress… After all, I'm still trying to recover and remember my own name… After last night… Last night when I took a beating from myself… You see baby I'm still black and blue from that… The same shades of black and blue I was after one night with you.
9:33 pm
Hey baby, me again. I just wanted to check in. I'm well into your city now baby, yes, we've been well acquainted… And I just gotta tell you baby I do understand now why you love her so… And I think I do too… Yeah, I find myself falling deeper and deeper in with each step I take along her crowded roads… I think I'm falling in love… And that's got me questioning things like it always does… Yeah that's got me questioning who I want to be and where I want to live… When I grow up… Maybe I could grow up and into her… Maybe I could grow up and be with you… You live inside her… So of course I love her… But not as much as I love you… As I love you… I do… I do… Always and forever… I do.
…
Oh baby… This trip just makes me so terribly sad. Oh baby. I wish there was still hope - Hope for us. But I know baby, oh I know baby, when it comes to us, all hope is lost.
Oh so forgive my fantasies baby, I have no excuses… No hope for us… Oh God! What a tragic thought! So terrible, so painful I don't know if I can bear it… So terrible, so painful I chose the bed against the wall… Away from the window… In my hotel room… Lit up by the electric skyline of your mother and your lover… Because the window calls to me… So far down… To fall… No hope for us… No hope for us… Still part of me thinks… That if I were to jump… And fall… So far down… Maybe I'd fall right into your arms.
Safe. Safe and in love. And we'd fly off… To heaven… Just the two of us… Like Superman and Lois Lane… We would turn the electric sky into cotton candy… And we would be safe. Safe and in love.
… But that's all fantasy, isn't it baby? Forgive me… I have a hard time separating fantasy from reality… But I know… So far… To fall… From fantasy to reality… Reality… No hope for us.
…
And now I cling to my bed against the wall… For fear I might truly kill myself, for having lost you.
Messages (to that someone that I used to know):
10:18 pm
Me:
Are you a fuck boy? Like honestly? 😂 I literally don't care, I've just never been more confused by a boy in my life... I mean I'm crazy so that's my issue, but... lol 😅
…
God… Being in my baby's city’s got me all fucked up in the head…
“... Tell me, this love's got you this fucked up in the head
You want some random bitch up in your bed?
She don't even know your middle name, watch her 'cause she might steal your chain
You don't want someone who loves you instead? …”
…
(Be Careful, by Cardi B)
… Do you remember, baby, when you said I'm not like other girls these days?
“Good cause I really like talking to ya too… Not like all the other girls these days… Only caring about likes on a screen and how they look in pictures…”
Girls these days, girls these days… I do. I do. Always and forever… I do.
